ALLEVIATING SUFFERING

Suffering bothers me....it bothers me a lot. Speaking about suffering and enlightment, in this video Ken Wilber said, "It hurts more; but it bothers you less...When we taste the infinite Absolute of consciousness, the world is seen just as it is—radiant, perfect, and whole. The relative, however, does not cease to be. Quite the contrary, the pains and pleasures of our relative lives are intensified to an unimaginable degree. We have to give ourselves PLENTY of room to feel BOTH: The ABSOLUTE PERFECTION in everything that arises.
..And yet see ONE person starving and you will start crying so hard it will kill you." The more we become aware, the more it does hurt; the more acutely the pain and suffering of all those around us is felt.  At the same time, every manifestation we see around us is sacred and part of the Divine and so nothing is ever lost.  Suffering is of the utmost horror, but not to be taken too seriously because in the end nothing can be harmed at all and even death has no real sting.

From that perspective, we CAN watch everything unfold almost like watching a movie, for even though pain and suffering are very real, they are not the ultimate reality...

Enlightenment is realizing that we are all ONE, all manifestations of the Divine, all sacred, all holy.,,and to treat all "others" as such.  How much suffering in the world would be alleviated if we all treated everything as a part of ourselves?  This is why Jesus said, "As you did it unto the least of these, you did it unto me." Because we are all part of God.

FORGIVENESS

“People are paralyzed by the tensions and contradictions in their own beliefs.  In turn, they shy away from examining their own behavior too closely…” (Sharif Abdullah, Creating a World That Works For All, p. 105).

We all need food, safety, security, belonging, love. Sometimes our need for these things is so desperate that we try to take them, maybe harming others in the process.  For me, the definition of “sin” is when we try to meet our very legitimate needs in a way that is harmful to ourselves or others. It bothers us to realize that we’ve done things in unskillful ways to get what we need; that we’ve not lived with integrity with our innermost values.  That is very difficult to face, so most people choose to run from self-examination.  We shove it down and hide it – sometimes so deep that it’s buried in the unconscious.  It takes great courage to go within and face ourselves, for when we do so, we find that our actions don’t match our values - that we’ve not lived in honesty with our own selves.  That’s why Joseph Campbell termed it “The Hero’s Journey” – to face our inner demons takes more courage than most of us have!

We seek forgetfulness in many ways – watching TV, shopping, busy-ness, etc.  We try to like ourselves in spite of the things we’ve done that bother us.  Some self-help teachings even advise looking in the mirror and saying, “I like you!” to build self-esteem.  It would be healthier to face those behaviors and find ways to live in alignment with our innate desire to live with compassion toward all. 

We have such a deep need to forgive ourselves that we’ve created a God “out there” who can forgive us and wipe our slate clean…what we really need is to face ourselves, understand ourselves, forgive ourselves, and move forward in alignment with our innermost values.  It’s an internal thing of facing it, understanding it, and finding forgiveness…

The truth is we have all tried to meet our perfectly legitimate needs with unskillful means, bringing harm to others and/or ourselves.  Some traditions call this facing the "shadow" or dark side.  Christian teaching puts it this way: we have all sinned and come short of the glory of God. This has been interpreted to mean that individuals are evil and deserve to die, when in fact we have all learned to live in ways that are not beneficial to ourselves or others.  How freeing it is to see that, face it, forgive ourselves because we were ignorant of any better way, and learn more skillful and less harmful means of getting our needs met.  In Scriptural language, this process has been described as confession, repentance (turning), forgiveness, and sanctification (the process of learning to live righteously). Whatever we call this process, may we find the deep courage to forgive ourselves for past mistakes and to live in alignment with the deepest desires of our hearts...

BENEFITS OF LISTENING TO OTHERS

Other titles I considered for this post:

• TWO HEADS ARE BETTER THAN ONE

• OVERCOMING DUALISTIC THINKING

• COMMUNICATION REQUIRES OPENNESS AND HUMILITY

This is an excellent TEDx talk by TJ Dawe of Beams and Struts. The author says it’s more important now than at any time in history to share what we know, and to approach each other with trust and respect rather than with fear and raised fists.  If my ego becomes invested in my own opinion, I will defend my position no matter what facts are being exchanged. It becomes a lose/lose situation...I don't learn anything, and all I've done is confirm my own biases and opinions!  If I "win" I make an enemy out of the other, guaranteeing they will never listen to anything I have to say, and further entrenching them in their own opinion...watch to discover the benefits that can be derived from actually listening to other points of view.

 

What's your opinion?  I promise I'll listen!

AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE CHAPTERS

How easily we allow our old habits and set patterns to dominate us! Even though…they bring us suffering, we accept them with almost fatalistic resignation, for we are so used to giving in to them. We may idealize freedom, but when it comes to our habits, we are completely enslaved.

Still, reflection can slowly bring us wisdom. We can come to see we are falling again and again into fixed repetitive patterns, and begin to long to get out of them. We may, of course, fall back into them, again and again, but slowly we can emerge from them and change. The following poem speaks to us all. It's called "Autobiography in Five Chapters."

1) I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk

I fall in.

I am lost... I am hopeless.

It isn't my fault

It takes forever to find a way out

2) I walk down the same street

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don't see it.

I fall in again.

I can't believe I'm in the same place.

But it isn't my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out

3) I walk down the same street

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk

I see it is there.

I still fall in ... it's a habit

My eyes are open

I know where I am

It is my fault.

I get out immediately.

4) I walk down the same street

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk

I walk around it.

5) I walk down another street.

Excerpted from "The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying" which can be downloaded here for free.

OVERCOMING THE STING OF DEATH

The Buddhist principle of impermanence teaches that individuals are like flowers that bloom for a brief time and then fade away.  If I understand this principle correctly, all things are said to be in a constant state of change but also of interconnection and unity – a process of flux and flow from one form to another.  For example, moisture in the form of clouds becomes dew, mist, fog, rain, snow, or ice and falls to the earth. There, it becomes ground water and flows along in streams and rivers, sustaining and cleansing all of life. The water becomes a part of all that is nourished by it – every plant, animal, or human.  Finally, the moisture evaporates – becoming cleansed and renewed in the process – and is transformed into clouds to begin the process again. And so it is with all of life.  While the duration of living things seems brief to us, nothing is ever really lost – all things are merely transformed. 

This is in accordance with The First Law of Thermodynamics, which says that energy cannot be created or destroyed, simply transformed from one type to another. Digging deep into Christian teachings, agreement can be found there as well: men wither like the grass of the field and fade in the manner of a flower.  Life is portrayed as a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes from our field of perception (James 4:14).   But we also likewise find the good news that all things are restored, for “the thing that hath been, it is that which shall be…and there is no new thing under the sun” (Ecc. 1:9).  And again, “That which hath been is now; and that which is to be hath already been…” (Ecc. 3:15).  Man goes back to dust, and the spirit goes back to God who gave it (Ecc. 12:7). Nothing is ever lost, and what was, will be again.

We, too, like all things, are being transformed, and it does not yet appear what we shall be (1 John 3:2).  We cannot see deeply enough into the nature of reality to discover the transformation that takes place as our present forms fade away.  But we can know that when Christ appears to us – when we come into a level of awareness that enables us to perceive the Christ within us, then we shall be like him.  AND, when that happens, we’ll also be able to see God as he really is: as Love.  With the understanding that God is truly Love, there is no longer any reason to be afraid of death.  Death can be seen for what it is: not a punishment, but as part of the natural process of the renewal of all things.   With this understanding, Rev. 21:4-5 becomes a current reality rather than a dim promise for the distant future: “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.  Behold, I make ALL THINGS NEW…!”  Once the veil that keeps people from seeing the nature of reality is removed, death will be swallowed up in victory, and the Lord will wipe all tears off ALL faces (Isa 25:7-8).  It is only our limited perception that makes us cry…

All must indeed face death, for death is part of the natural process of renewal and happens to all.  But death does lose its sting and brings us sorrow no longer.  Instead, we can rejoice, for the reality is NOTHING IS EVER TRULY LOST - merely changed from one form to another.  That's really good news!